One of the leading complaints found most often by Christian women is the desire to have their husbands provide Spiritual Leadership within the home. As men, we often find ourselves clueless as to what this might look like since, for many of us, this was not modeled in our own homes as we grew up. We realize that Scripture compels us to sanctify our wife “having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word” (Ephesians 5:26). However, many of us have no real idea what that might look like in our own homes. Furthermore, we seldom purpose to engage in relationships with other men struggling with similar issues. Fortunately, that paradigm is changing as a growing number of men at Westside Church are finding ways to connect with other men who are doing their best to be the example they never had.
As we step into leading through continued discipleship here are 3 keys that will help us to grow as Disciples:
Sound Teaching and Godly Living
As I’ve been involved in discipleship with men, one of the things I’ve noticed is that many men enjoy the “heady” nature of theological discussion. Some of this comes from an honest desire for knowledge and isn’t all bad. However the New Testament reveals two methods of discipleship. The first is sound teaching (2 Tim 1:13) and the second is a pattern of godly living (Phil 3:16). The Scripture is clear that we do ourselves no good if we are simply hearers of the word and not doers of the word (James 1:22). The key to growth is connecting with other men who will help you to remain accountable to the word of God that you studied to ensure you are indeed living this out.
Developing a consistent pattern of Godly servant leadership can be challenging. A wife who has had a passive husband in the home can often react with anger as this once passive man begins to step into Biblical Manhood. On the other side, a wife who once dealt with a “my way or the highway” style of leadership by her husband can find that she is a bit distrusting that true change has come. The key for us as men is to embrace the servant leadership example that Christ provides and to not return to our old ways when the going gets a bit rough. We are reminded through Scripture that we are to “love our wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). This true sacrificial love provides the Biblical pattern for how we are to lead.
Seek to Serve
Paul tells Timothy, “If anyone aspires to the office of overseer he desires a noble task” (1 Timothy 3:1). As men, the desire to serve the Church is a natural outflowing of “living out” our Christian faith. Paul continues to explain to Timothy the Godly attributes that should accompany one who seeks such a position. While all men may not serve in an overseeing capacity, we all are given spiritual gifts that can serve the Church.
While many of us may not have had the best of examples for what strong servant leadership should look like in our homes, the Bible provides each of us with a solid roadmap for success in this area. It’s up to us to be followers (disciples) of Christ’s example.